I Miss Writing

Everyday at work, I finish my tasks as quick as I can so I have time to write.

This rarely happens.

The writing, that is

As soon as I am done with everything at work and I have an hour or two, I end up being stuck for words. I don't really know what to write about. All I know is, I want to write. I know. Typical writer's dilemma right?

My 24th year has so far been the most crucial year in my life since I learned so much but it's just sad that I don't know how to put these lessons into words. I wish I had something or someone to blame it on like my job or my boyfriend but that's just not fair. I see people with busier lives than me who still manage to write everyday.


I don't even care so much about who reads my stuff anymore. All I want to do is just write. Back when I worked for a big company, I always made it a point to blog at least once a week. Now I barely do it once a month. And it's a shame because back then I worked night shifts and I still managed to stay awake in the morning just to write.

When I evaluate my daily activities and try to pinpoint the reasons why I can't find time to write anymore, it all boils down to three reasons.

1. I'm in a relationship now.
Back when I  was single, I had all the time in the world to do whatever I want. I could look at the ceiling and just listen to music for hours or I could just talk to my best friend on the phone if I felt like it. Every after work, I would have all six hours to myself and another seven hours of sleep before I get back to work again. Now I have to schedule my time and set time for cuddling, movies, dates, and such.

I'm not complaining. I mean having a person to love and scratch your back for you is one of the best feelings. It's just that I thought balancing work, friends, relationship, and hobbies would be easier. Damn you Carrie Bradshaw!

2. I would rather relax at the end of the day than write.
I consider myself a hardworking person but when it is time to relax, I relaaaaahx. Using the computer isn't exactly my favorite past time after having stared at it for a whole nine hours. Instead of opening my laptop, I end up lying on my bed trying to reflect on my life and wondering what the hell I am doing giving up my freedom for a job. That or I sit in front of the fridge scavenging for something to eat.

3. I get easily distracted. (Internet, books, social media, etc.) 
Like a cat chasing a laser pointer, my attention gets easily pulled by whatever I see or can think of. I remember when I had to go to Facebook to send a work-related message to my brother when all of a sudden, I find myself talking to my friends online and scrolling through photos of my other stupid so called "friends". After closing the window, I asked myself, "Wait. Wasn't I supposed to do something important?" I go back to Facebook and the whole cycle begins again. Haha.

So yes, those are my list of excuses for not being able to write as frequently as I would like to. I think I am making improvements because just a few minutes ago I wrote a diatribe on how much I want to kill someone. Yes, writing does have its benefits. It keeps people like me from killing other people.

Phew. That was shit. Bye now.